Marriage # – 3 Who Is In Charge

By April 28, 2016Uncategorized

Marriage was God’s idea, not Adam’s.  Adam knew that something was missing in his life, but he did not know exactly what was missing or how to fix it.  God addressed Adam’s dilemma in Gen. 2:18 saying,  “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” So why didn’t God create Adam and Eve at the same time, when He knew that Adam would be lonely and unfulfilled?  For starters, it was not because it took Him by surprise, but rather, it was God’s way of preparing Adam for his coming bride.  Adam had to learn how to exercise his God given authority over the animals, over nature, and how to harvest food.  He had to learn about himself, and his wonderful relationship he enjoyed with God.  Adam was sinless, but he was not ready from day one to have a wife.  It was after a period of time that Adam had to face the fact that as wonderful as everything was, he was still lonely.  It is when we have longed for something we lack and need that we are most appreciative when that need is finally met, and so it was with Adam.

Get the picture!  God created Adam from the dust of the ground – just plain old dirt.  Eve was and still is another story,  God “fashioned” Eve from a rib taken from Adam’s side.  There is a reason that women are so fashion conscious, and there is a reason that men are so basic and women are so complex.  We were both created in the image of God as spirit, soul, and body, but Adam and Eve were created to look different, to think different, and to desire different things.  God created the woman as the weaker vessel (1 Peter 3:7).  This is not a picture of physical strength, but of value placed upon the woman.  A clay cup will hold water, and so will a cup of fine china, but the fine china is weaker, yet at the same time of great value.  Adam was created with the ability and then commanded by God  to 1- Preside  2 – Protect 3 – Provide for his wife Eve.  We all know the story.  Adam let his guard down and failed to protect Eve against the temptations of Satan.  He abandoned his post and the fallout and calamity that followed as a result of his poor decision is still ricocheting and cascading through marriages and families seven thousand years later.  Placing Adam in charge had absolutely nothing to do with Adam being superior to Eve, but it had everything to do with God’s divine order and purpose for the family.

God is a God of order, and He has a divine plan and order for every marriage, but He will not force his commandments or wisdom on anyone.  We are no longer talking about the Old Covenant commandments that were burdensome, we are talking about the New Covenant commandment that Jesus gave us,  “Love the Lord your God with all of your heart, your soul, your strength (body), and your mind, and your neighbor as yourself” (Luke 10:27).  When we learn to keep this simple commandment, we will at the same time fulfill all of the Old Testament Laws.


 ” Wives, be subject to your own husband, for the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the Church, its body, and is himself its savior” (Eph. 5:22-23).

That is God’s plan for your marriage.  Every plane needs a pilot, every ship needs a captain, and every marriage need a Leader, Protector, and Provider.  If being subject to your husband has a little sting attached to it, then consider that the real challenge is with authority.  Therefore,

1- Do you willingly subject (submit) yourself to the authority of your husband?  _____  If not, why not? ________

2- Do you teach your children to do the same both by example and with words? ______

3- Do you always esteem your husband with positive affirmation? _______

4- Do you understand that there is life and death in the power of your tongue and that spoken words always produce a harvest of the words you use? ______

5- Do you make every effort to listen to and know the heart of your husband? _____

6- Do you make every effort to make your husband your best friend? _____

7- Do you make demands (constant reminders) of your husband in an effort to have your own needs met? ______


“Know well the condition of your flocks, and pay attention to your herds” (Prov. 27:23).

Husband, God equipped you to be the Shepherd of your home.  The following questions are reminders of some of responsibilities that every shepherd has.

1- Do you abide in God’s word and allow it to prune things that need to be pruned while increasing in wisdom, knowledge, and understanding? _______

2- Do you carefully stand guard over the things that come into your home? TV, other devices?_______

3- Do you esteem your wife daily with words and prayer? _______

4- Do you know the deep things that are going on the hearts of your wife and children?_________

5- Do you make certain that your family is dialed into spiritual things?  ________

6- Do you make every effort to stay out of un-need debt? _______

7- Do you pray daily for direction for every part of your families life?______

These are only a few of the questions that husband and wives need to answer.  Remember, regardless of how you did, there is now NO CONDEMNATION for those who are in Christ Jesus.  God never, ever, speaks condemnation to His children (Romans 8:1).  If God refuses to condemn our short comings, then why would we?  We are all on the Potter’s wheel and will remain on it as long as we live and breathe here on this earth. Next Friday, we will venture into an area that is more fun to deal with called “Happy Wife – Happy Life!”  Until then, keep the Faith, Trust the Word, and see mountains move as you become bolder in the Word.  In Christ, Don & Penny